terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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