Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
