I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
