Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize