My cat gives me a boner
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
