I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
