whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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