so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
