so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
