You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
