We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize