when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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