My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Come on in and take your pants off
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
