A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
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