Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
As shirtless as possible
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
