Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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