Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I have fence marks all over my body
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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