is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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