do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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