Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
