Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
