My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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