Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize