i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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