So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
foreskin is a definite game changer
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize