I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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