I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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