Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
