It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
