Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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