EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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