Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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