i just google imaged poop.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
