He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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