My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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