i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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