i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
