there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
