I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
