So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
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