well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
