But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
