Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
