I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
