she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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