watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
