Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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