is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize
