C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Randomize
