And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
