at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
