I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
