Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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