who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
he told me I talked like a deaf person
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
