we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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