my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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