Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
