I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
