shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
