If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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