i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
