I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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