u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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