Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
