I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I enjoy the company of your penis
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
